Unicorn oracle cards

I bought a set of unicorn oracle cards. I love horses. Each card has a beautiful unicorn in it. A white unicorn, a brown unicorn, a pair of unicorns. Each card has a meaning. How to use them is quite simple. Just shuffle them and draw one or a few cards. There's a booklet inside the box. We can refer it and understand the meanings.

 

I draw one card almost every morning before I go to work. The oracles are simple, gentle and kind. No card says harsh things. Some card says "Drink more water." Other says "Your parents love you." It's too simple to say it's a fortune telling.

 

I like these cards because pictures of unicorns are very beautiful. I love my sacred morning time. I can't wait.

【Stones】Onyx

 I bought an onyx ring a long time ago. It seemed like a magic ring. It's too big to wear in the office or in mothers' meetings. Besides, it had some scary atmospher so I put it in a box and hided it from my sight those days.

 

I don't remenber why I bought the ring. Although I didn't like it from the begininng, I read the description about onyx in the shop and bought it, maybe. I forgot what was written there though.

 

Our family's had a hard time these days. I decided to put on morion which is the strongest stone against evil I heard. But I didn't know why, I changed my mind. I wanted to wear onyx instead of morion. So I put morion on a shelf, opened the box, take onyx ring out, and put it on my finger.  

 

Soon my first impression of onyx was changed. The stone was so pretty like a elementary school boy. He had pretty smooth skin and liked to experience anything and had full of curiosity. 

 

I felt like I was back to my elementary school and there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. Even though something bad had happened, I may feel "It's interesting!"

 

This stone also stimulats my body. I want to work out very much now a days. It's like a small lively boy overlaps me.

 

I love my childhood. I played with my playmates whom we can't easily see each other these days. We made secret bases togther and it was one of the most precious times in my life. 

 

The black stone seems like a lively child eye looking at me innocently. It doesn't judge me by my career, business success or school name. It just tells me "C'mon. Let's play!" Then I realize that I've not changed a bit since when I was a child and actually, a life is always the same.

【Stones】Rose Quartz

I once hated rose quartz. It seemed too cute and too inoccent for me. It seemed like a baby. It had no experience to be unbeautiful, hated, betrayed and blamed. It's never rethought its identity. It's been loved from the beginning and coherently.

 

My life was not like that. I've been hurt. I've needed to rebuild who I was, what my life's perpose was. Sometimes, my friend's bullied me. My teacher's misunderstood me. My mother's not stayed with me. 

 

I hated rose quartz because it seemed like it didn't have any unhappy experiences and said knowing those unhappy things never make you happy. Not knowing was the best thing.

 

I hated rose quartz. But one day, I don't know why but I decided to put on a rose quartz ring. Day by day I've come to feel confortable.

 

Rose quartz's always smiled at me. Even I made a fault, it smiled at me. Then I thought of myself. My fault was not a big deal. My bleaming myself and punishing myself was the big problem. I could be happy even though I made a mistakes. Honestly, that's not my business.

 

The most fundamental thing in this world was my happiness. This world was a story of myself. I was the main cast of this story. Everyone spent their story. But I didn't have to be the cast of somebodies' stories.

 

One day, I did a great job in my office. I had a confidence in myself. Everybody turned to love me. I felt so happy. I was like surrouned by a pink warm blanket. Yes, a blanket just like rose quartz

 

Although it was the happiest moment, I felt like a little bit uncomfortable. So I looked down to my ring and said" Thank you. It's because of your power. Not mine." 

 

Suddenly I felt something uneasy. I felt like I chose the wrong message. So I tried to find a right message. Then I came to one phrase that perfectly suited the smile of my rose quartz. "I love you." 

 

Rose quartz helpled me. It must be true. But It didn't do it because of anything but love. It's loved me coherently. So the most suitable phrase I would say was "I love you." Not "Thank you."

 

After that, I came to wonder whether I'd ever thought that somebody helped me a lot because simply they loved me. I came home and told it to my husband. He smiled and seemed so happy. Yes, he's always helped me a lot. I said "I love you." instead of "Thank you." 

【Stones】Iolites and garnets

If you feel fretfulness, maybe you are too concentrated on your work. An exhausted person tend to focus on one thing too seriously and nervously. This attitude could help the person become more mature and get easy to take part in a cirtain cercumstance.

 

However, when you feel like it's too much, you should be hurry to change your mind. Your single focus attitude helps you to be a useful worker, but you should know too much stress makes you sick before you can be a mature business person.

 

I've always wore a garnet ring. It makes me focus at my job. Meanwhile I gave up my hobbies. I've come to feel like my job is more interesting and worthful than my hobbies. I stopped writing the blog and drawing pictures. More and more I've focused at my job. I've aways thought about my job eventhough I was with my child at home.

 

Soon, I felt guitly about my small falt in my job. I felt fretfulness. Then I realized that I have to do something but my job. I had to enjoy my hobbies. I had to forget about my job while I was with my child. I had to sleep without concerning about it.

 

Garnets give me great comfort. It told me that I was not alone even in an isolated job cercumstance. I relied on garnets. I knew they don't betray me like iolites.

 

Iolites, they often left me. I lost so many iolites. A bracelet, a stone and a ring. Iolites, stones which make peolpe realize the two sides of the facts, seems perfect to me now. I think I need to ask iolites about my cercumstance nowadays. 

 

I don't know why but I've always lost iolites. Maybe they think they don't need to stay beside me after their works. Garnets always stay with me. They're like faithful dogs. I love garnets. I don't want to betray them. I want to keep on being with them. 

大変充実しているが、びんぼう。

気が早いと言われそうだが、今年度うっかりムラっ気を出して引き受けてしまった案件が、後半戦に入り、終わりが個人的に見えて来た。見えて来たい。

 

蓋を開けた当初から、これは負担が大きすぎる、辞めておけばよかったと思っている。

 

非常に勉強になったし、これで各段クオリティが上がった別の案件もある。だけど、時給なのにサービス残業が平気で毎日あること。このサービス残業が平均して毎日2時間半以上あること。多くの場合、子供の登校時間や帰宅時間にいられない事など顧みて、来年度は受けないと決めている。私は自分の成育歴から、子供の在宅時間は、余程事情がない限り、家にいたいのだ。

 

非常に神経を使う案件で、ここのところ帰宅したらぐったりしている。ここに子供が家に友人を連れて来たりすると、限界だと感じる。子供を習い事に連れていくのも非常に負担に感じ、休みがち。かくして子供の習い事が遅れがち。結局子供にしわ寄せが行っている。全く当初のビジョンとずれている。

 

さて、来年度からどうしようかと考えている。もしかしたら3本抱えている案件の、1本は切り、1本は制度から、今後継続があるか不明。1本しか残らないかも知れない。

 

後は、3つ考えている。一つは塾。一つは幼児英語。一つは観光ガイド的なこと。幼児英語は自然自分が好きなので、準備はストレスがないだろうが、「これをやる意味とは」で悩むだろうなとは思う。もう一つ観光ガイドは、挑戦したい分野ではある。畑違いなので、どんなものか皆目分からないけれど。

 

教えることを今生業にしているが、あまりにもマニアックで辟易したりはする。そのくせ自分は英語を話すのがあまり得意ではない。下地があるので、そこをメインにすれば、話せるようにはなるかなとは思う。そこをしたいなとは思う。人を喜ばせることは好きだ。

 

2020年にオリンピックもあるし、ボランティアは大変求められているらしいし、都合が合えば、やってみてもいいかなあと思う。私は結構この件に拘りがなかったりする。ボラの方が、「お金を払ったのにスキルがない」というプレッシャーからは自由でいられるし。経験としては、いいと思う。別に人に勧めようとも思わないんだけども。

 

そんなわけで、ブログが滞っていますが、粛々と生きています。何でブログ書かないんだろうなあと自分で思うが、多分これって充実しているって事なんだろうな、と思っている。今寒さと寝不足で布団におり、背中に子供が乗って、いじくられています。

 

夕飯の予定。

ステーキ(1000円で3枚ステーキ肉が買えた。すごくない!?)

白米

昨日のスープのあまり少々(鶏肉、玉ねぎ、キノコ、溶き卵)

カレーのあまり少々(鶏肉、人参、玉ねぎ)

キャベツとピーマンとニンジンとひき肉のオイスターソース炒め